Re-Blog: A Beautiful Wife Leads to a Happy Marriage

by Denise

Over at the Hall of the Black Dragon, Greg Dragon posted an article about a new study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showing that a wife’s attractiveness is a major part of what makes a husband happy in a marriage.  Dragon says:  “It leads me to think of a scenario where a man is having a hard time connecting with his beautiful wife but every time he wakes up and sees her flawless face he just resets his temperament and keeps playing it forward.”  This sounds very much like something The Social Pathologist wrote about the effect that beauty has on men:

I don’t think women really appreciate the effect of beauty on a man. It really does cast a spell over a man. When in love, a man can literally [see] no fault in his beloved. Women in their prime years are simply amazing. I imagine that it’s why artists are painting young naked women all the time. They are simply incredible. And it’s not just in their sexual allure. It’s in the little things. The way they move, their smell, the feel of their skin, the way the hair falls around their shoulders and so on. It consumes a man while at the same time overwhelmingly sabotaging a man’s critical faculties. The beautiful woman becomes the good woman. It is said that a woman with many faults will be forgiven if she is beautiful, it’s not that she is forgiven, it’s just that beauty blots out the faults. A man’s brain simply stops working.

But can it really be that simple?  Beautiful women get dumped and played all the time.  Even so, I  think that a lot of men get burned by women and have their hearts crushed because they chased after women purely on the basis of their attraction to her without regard to whether she actually has the character to be a good wife.  In that same post, the Social Pathologist talks about the revelation he had when he stopped chasing women purely on the basis of sexual attraction–he saw much more quickly and clearly their true character.  He writes:

“…the further back I pushed the beauty and sexual allure, the more pronounced her other features became. What I found was a revelation.  Stripped of their sexual allure, many women had nothing else to offer. Women whom I hung around with because of a potential sexual interest, suddenly became uninteresting; no actually repulsive. Not just that, many were down right mean, manipulative and self absorbed, some desperate social climbers, some obvious gold diggers, others seriously psychologically disturbed, and far too many coarse and undignified. Indeed, it came slowly as a revelation, that stripped of their sex appeal, a huge proportion of women(not all) were unattractive as human beings. Had my male friends possessed the moral characteristics of some of these women, they would not have been my friends.”

So, going back to the study, presumably, the women had to have more than just physical beauty for those marriages not to fall apart.  Or, they hadn’t been married long enough for the veneer of romantic love to fade.  Guy at What Women Never Hear likens a wife’s physical beauty to hanging a great piece of art in the living room, saying that at first it makes a great impression, but after a while, it’s just another part of the house.  But, you know, people are willing to pay great sums of money for artwork they deem beautiful; and they hang it because they want to admire it regularly and believe it adds value to their lives.  Guy’s wisdom points us to the fact that physical beauty alone is not enough. But I’d add that people (read: men) sure will do a lot to have beauty in their lives.

Like the Social Pathologist said, I don’t think women do understand the power of beauty, the power of their beauty.  Some do, of course, and play that to their advantage; but I think one of the ills of feminism coupled with an overly casual culture is that it creates greater “beauty inequality” amongst women than would otherwise be there.  There have always been ultra beautiful women, average, and such.  But when women are encouraged to flaunt their bodies while at the same time told that caring about your appearance is vain, the result is that only the most naturally gorgeous are seen as beautiful.  Think about it–if the new “style” is to reveal legs, midriff, cleavage, then there’s not much room for women with less than perfect bodies to look attractive in those styles.

If you think about, say 60s-era style ala Mad Men, you see that all women, regardless of their facial features, at least look nice.  Obviously it’s a TV show that casts for a certain level of attractiveness.  But it’s true in real life anyway.  When women wear well made and well fitting clothes, do their hair, and put on a little makeup, their best features shine.  As Helena Rubenstein said:  “There are no ugly women, just lazy ones.”